NEW YEAR, 'NEW' GOALS.

i was going to write a proper entry with my resolutions / goals / whatever for this year, but to be honest, they are more or less the same as last year. still working on stuff.

♥ write more. zines, stories, letters, blog entries. in both languages.
♥ spend less time on the internet doing fuck all.
♥ eat less frozen crap and more proper food.
♥ finish issue one of THE QUEEN IS FED, my cooking zine.
♥ be more sociable, get out more, see people, hang the fuck out with awesome locals etc etc instead of just sitting home on tumblr, even if carl doesn't want to come along.
♥ knit more, especially finish knitting the blue cardigan with hood / vintage bed jacket that i started knitting on christmas eve. i've done the back so far and i'm about 1/3rd through right front piece, like so:

♥ make more art. take real proper photographs, not just snaps of crap around the house / what i'm wearing. it's a waste of a good camera. even use the film slr again.
♥ find that new job i keep talking about. preferably not in retail, and preferably more money for less hours!
♥ go abroad. and preferably not just to go home.
♥ see the ark one more fucking time before it's too late.
♥ get better mental health.
♥ be a better girlfriend, as per usual.
♥ make that secret exciting project i can't tell you about yet actually happen.
♥ start a grrrl band. (a girl can dream, right?)
♥ finally get that first tattoo i keep banging on about.
♥ skate hard at roller derby and pass minimum skills.
♥ radically reduce my use of oppressive / ableist language (like crazy, mental, special..)
♥ reply to every single letter i get. even if it's just a post card saying "aww shucks." or something equally feeble.

i think that's it for now. still not making a resolution to stop smoking though. i'm going to get off the internet now and watch bruce parry hang out with shamans and knit knit knit. how i've missed that man.

THE OBLIGATORY REVIEW OF THE YEAR POST.

some of the HIGHLIGHTS of 2010 in the world of tukru:

♥ DJing at girl germs, twice!
♥ zine fests including: brighton zine fest, london zine symposium & birmingham zine fest.
♥ writing 4 new zines & doing my first compilation zine!
♥ still doing vampire sushi after one year in business.
♥ starting roller derby and getting hang of skating pretty quick!

& some of the LOWLIGHTS of 2010 in the world of tukru:

- carl's dad went into the hospital only to come out very briefly and then go back again and never come out. i was there with carl's family when he passed away, it was really damn upsetting & unfair cos he was pretty young, and damn awesome dude. (read your pretty face #13 if you wanna know more)
- i fractured my wrist in 3 places and ended up being on sick leave for six weeks due to which i'm broke as fuck, overdrawn to the max and owe rent.

sure, the highlights list is longer than the lowlights but the lowlights were pretty much so craptacular they outweigh all the / any good stuff that happened. 2010 was a shit year. i want a fucking refund.

what about my resolutions for 2010, how did i do with them?

♥ write more in finnish - well, i started my finnish blog and then completely abandoned it after a few months. but i did start hipster mummot with sinikka a few weeks ago. so.. i guess i didn't really do that.
♥ write more in general - i managed to do 4 issues of your pretty face in six months. i guess that's writing more. but i was sort of hoping to do some fiction too.
♥ spend less time on the internet doing fuck all - no.
♥ eat less frozen crap and more PROPER food. - well. yeah. sort of.
♥ stop ignoring stuff and pushing it til later. or at least do it less. - doing a little better on this!
♥ worry less. - and this!
♥ be more crafty, knit and stuff. - most of the year, not really but lately yes!
♥ work on my teenage blah blah novel & my smiths fan vampire story. - no. still stuck as fuck. have manage to figure out plot for vampire story though, so i guess that's something.
♥ make a fucking brilliant queer/typical zinester stuff issue of YOUR PRETTY FACE without rushing it. if it's not ready in time for a zinefest, it's not. - well, life got in the way by giving me other things to write about so i haven't made this. but i didn't rush with the zines i did make (except maybe little with #12..) so i think i did pretty good.
♥ same thing with rocknroll adventures of past times issue. - see above
♥ finish issue one of THE QUEEN IS FED, my cooking zine. preferably in time for brighton zine fest (end of february) - well no. i still haven't done much about this zine. i've got a BIG list of recipes i can put it i just can't get myself to do it for some bizarro reason. need to fact check all the recipies too. but i'll start on that.. tomorrow?
♥ dress better (when i look good, i feel better. like today. i may be a bit chilly, but i feel better about myself. it's funny that.) - well. i guess?
♥ see people more often. go to coffees or just to hang out at lovely people's houses. - i've been more social. but mostly cos emma's been around.
♥ make more art. take PROPER photographs. - FAIL.
♥ get winifred's hair sorted out! (i actually only just added this one..) - FAIL FAIL FAIL i don't even know where her damn hair is.
♥ be more / proper organized with distro etc business stuff. - check! to a degree. there's still room for improvement of course!
♥ find another job. preferably not in retail. i don't want to hate christmas anymore. - well, obviously haven't managed that. but i came pretty close and i did manage to not hate christmas this year thanks to sharing work with my replacement.
♥ have better mental health - i would have done a lot better on this if 2010 hadn't served me such a shit sandwich.
♥ be a better girlfriend and be more comfortable with my own sexuality. - still working on this but getting there. SLOWLY.

oh and from that 'wish list' of things it would be cool if i could do this year, i accomplished fuck all. but i'm cool with that. i'll hold on to my list of new resolutions / goals for tomorrow / another day.

GOOD RIDDANCE

picture found off ye good olde tumblr, here though i doubt that is the original source....

i was going to do that 2010 was crap, hope 2011 is better and have a look at how my resolutions / goals for the year went entry today but i didn't get around to it because i made really nice curry for dinner from my new cook book and made a rather failed baking experiment (brownie recipe does NOT make cupcakes. this may be obvious to all but me) and it's kinda late already. me and carl are going to drink navy rum & coke, watch a film (howl's moving castle, i think) eat the failed 'cupcakes' and hope for the best. guess i'll do that entry tomorrow then. i've got high hopes for next year..

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS / TO DO LIST + WISH LIST

I missed the party, originally uploaded by Laurence 2.

yesterday i wrote down some new years 'resolutions' in my finnish blog, somehow finnish has just felt more natural this year, so far. ha. we'll see how long that lasts though, i'm always starting similar projects and it never lasts.. but i'm hopeful. i need more practice so i don't turn double foreign. anyway, i thought i'd write them down in english too, so everyone can mock me when i miserably fail at everything. i don't really do resolutions. but i'll consider this more of a to do list. (i do realise it's basically the same thing, but a few of these have been on my to do list anyway..)

♥ write more in finnish
♥ write more in general
♥ spend less time on the internet doing fuck all
♥ eat less frozen crap and more PROPER food.
♥ stop ignoring stuff and pushing it til later. or at least do it less.
♥ worry less.
♥ be more crafty, knit and stuff.
♥ work on my teenage blah blah novel & my smiths fan vampire story.
♥ make a fucking brilliant queer/typical zinester stuff issue of YOUR PRETTY FACE without rushing it. if it's not ready in time for a zinefest, it's not.
♥ same thing with rocknroll adventures of past times issue.
♥ finish issue one of THE QUEEN IS FED, my cooking zine. preferably in time for brighton zine fest (end of february)
♥ dress better (when i look good, i feel better. like today. i may be a bit chilly, but i feel better about myself. it's funny that.)
♥ see people more often. go to coffees or just to hang out at lovely people's houses.
♥ make more art. take PROPER photographs.
♥ get winifred's hair sorted out! (i actually only just added this one..)
♥ be more / proper organized with distro etc business stuff.
♥ find another job. preferably not in retail. i don't want to hate christmas anymore.
♥ have better mental health
♥ be a better girlfriend and be more comfortable with my own sexuality.

i'm not going to write stop smoking because it's pointless. more accurate list item would be "stop needing to smoke". which is way more easily said than done.

also, here's things i would like to do, if possible:

♥ start sewing clothes for me & dolls, once i get that elusive sewing machine.
♥ go abroad. preferably not just back home to finland. maybe berlin? but this completely depends on money money money!
♥ FIND A RECORD PLAYER. our record collection is getting ridiculous considering we can't actually listen to them.
♥ a dead ladies comeback for my birthday. in celebration of surviving 'the rocknroll stupid year'.
♥ do a zine workshop of some sort. i wouldn't know where the fuck to start sorting it out though.