Thursday, December 31, 2009


oh hello, i started a blog in finnish. (not that it's actually 2010 yet) i'm NOT abandoning this blog though, it's basically me trying to hang on to my mothertongue.

i'm off to cuddle carl, drink whiskey & coke and eat party food (i got some most excellent tesco finest canapes the other day for 80p. normal price £4. bargain of the decade! especially since they're supernice and have goats cheese ones. my favourite.)

i should also mention i made really awesome pizza for dinner, and we're having the same again tomorrow cos i made enough dough & stuff for two pizzas. awesomecakes.

hope y'all have a nice new year.


i didn't like 2009, the overall feeling i get looking back at the last 12 months is.. "maybe tomorrow". sort of waiting for something good to happen. once this mysterious thing happens, everything's fine. but it never did. i don't know what it was, or what i was expecting. i've just been crawling through the days, what a fucking waste of time. i'm hoping 2010 will be better and it'll give me (and carl) a break. sure, a lot of it is my own fault, my precious apathy but.. yeah, let's not dwell on it.

i've been reading 'everyone' else's memories of their 2009 on my google reader and i kept thinking, i'm not gonna do it cos there's nothing worth remembering about this year, but to be honest, it had it's moments. if i ignore the good moments, that'll waste them. so here's a short list of things i did like about 2009.

Tukru, originally uploaded by emmajanefalconer.

♥ ZINE FESTS. hanging out with awesome zine folk. i tabled at brighton zinefest, london zine symposium, alternative press fair (august edition) and southampton craft & zine fest + two crafty deaf cat nights down the road in rochester. four times out of six, i/we sold quite a few things and it felt good to share things with the kids. i did also really enjoy hanging out with people afterwards. got to meet alex wrekk of brainzine, who was lovely, and it was generally nice to talk about zines with people who knew who the fuck i was talking about. highlights of my year.

♥ STARTING VAMPIRE SUSHI DISTRO. it started better than i dared to expect :) i'm loving it, though i do feel bad about getting so behind and unorganized in the past month & a half. i'm sorry if you've ordered something and haven't got it yet. i'm gonna get myself in gear this weekend and hopefully get things in the post on saturday. well, what i can at least. and generally get the zine stuff proper organized. we're getting rid of some unnecessary shit, taking stuff to the dump on saturday so i'll have space to make a little distro corner, or something.

♥ MEETING SINIKKA IN THE FLESH. i've actually known her for years on the internet. well, we've had mutual acquaintances and i remember seeing her around, and being lj friends (no idea how we met though) but we lost contact for a while and i guess we started properly talking at the beginning of the year when i found her on lj by accident. or did she find me? who knows.. anyway, she was on holiday in london with her dad and she came down to see me one tuesday. it was so nice to be able to just hang out with someone and talk about all the stuff (mental shit, queerness, harry potter..) with someone in the flesh, and in finnish. i wish we could do it all the time..

♥ EMMA GIVING ME THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER. my darling blythe doll, winifred edith bloom. she still doesn't have hair, i haven't even touched her scalp in months. but she's got two pretty wigs and some clothes and i love her. i'd been wanting one for years, but had given up on the wish ages ago because i'm stingy and would not spend that much on a doll. but emma had a spare one she'd been meaning to customize for ages but never got around to it, so she thought she'd give her to me! carl was a bit annoyed, cos he usually gets the best present ever medal. but it's pretty fucking hard to beat a blythe doll.

which house??, originally uploaded by tukrulovesyou.

♥ GOING TO PLATFORM 9 3/4 WITH MAREN. she's actually a new friend via internet. i found her amazing blog sometime in the spring and well, fell in love with it her. and her. she's so lovely. she was on holiday in london with her friend caro around my birthday so i went up to meet her the day before my birthday. again, good times. nerding about dolls and harry potter and stuff. i wish i could hang out with her all the time too!

♥ MEETING KORINNA, MY ZINE HERO. korinna was really the person who got me into zines to start with. i found her on facebook one day and when she added me back she said she was in ireland and was going to be in london the next week, wanna meet up? so yeah, she came down to chatham, we sat in a pub sipping on strawberry beer and i gave her all my zines. i think i also convinced her to get back into zines, cos she's just made a new one, roots of hope. i'm gonna be adding them to the distro very soon. i bought some without reading it first, that's how much she is one of my fave zinesters ever, cos i'm well cautious.

christmas crafty deaf cat, originally uploaded by tukrulovesyou.

♥ CRAFTY DEAF CATS. my friends zara (on left) & sara (not pictured) decided to start doing little craft fairs at a local coffee bar, and there's been two so far and it's been really lovely. the first time i sold quite a bit, and the second time hardly any (though that's probs cos it was really cold so no one really came..) but my favourite part is just hanging out with the girls. they're lovely ladies and i should see them all more. also, i get to wear the amazing headware zara makes and pretend their mine for a couple of hours.

♥ MAKING A SPLIT WITH MARANDA. i've always wanted to do a split zine and this year i did! even though i'm not 100% happy with my side because i had to rush it a little.

beautiful-feet, originally uploaded by tukrulovesyou.

♥ CARL. always. though we've had more hard times this year than before, what with me being all crazy, and bad news. but i won't get to it. we've been together for five years now and i love him lots.

i might make a list of things, you know songs etc i liked about this year but i can never remember the first six months and it all gets muddled and the last six months are more vivid in my memory. so who knows. can i be bothered? probably not. hence the question mark.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


it seems 2009 was the year of the cat, as i seemed to get a lot of kitty related presents; including hello kitty cushion & towel from carl's mum and dad, hello kitty stationery, hello kitty mobile charm & fake kitty bubble bath from various ladies at work, fake kitty hot water bottle & cover from carl's uncle & auntie, cat beret from carl and kitty cat bag from maren, a lovely surprise which arrived this morning along with more zines for the distro.

also, it seems this year was big on cakes; cupcakes & muffins book + gigantic muffin silicone tin from carl's brother, cakes & slices book from his mum and a pony/unicorn cookie cutter as well as a womens weekly cookbook from emma. also pictured: reflective moomin keyring & set of three moomin tins from mama, the brideshead revisited soundtrack on vinyl with booklet with big gay pictures!, tape dispenser + cake tape from carl, and snuggle blanket + smelly candles from carl's parents.

it seems for some reason one of my favourite presents was the most impractical one; a polaroid swinger II gift set from carl, quite obviously found at oxfam. unfortunately it only takes polaroid 20-series film which according to the internets was discontinued in 1970, so i don't think i'll find any even on eBay. ha. but it's pretty. it'll be nice in pictures, like this:

there was also other presents, the usual load of bath stuff, some make up and socks, biscuits, surprisingly little sweets, tiny bottles of booze, blah blah blah. somehow i seemed to get the most presents, again. or at least i somehow had 3 big carrier bags of things while carl and the other boys had one each. how did that happen?

i didn't take many pictures during chrimbo. i was too busy having a nap, finishing knitting purple gloves for carl's mum (an unfinished christmas present that) watching the boys play tekken and swear, and cuddling carl's parents' tubby jack russell, purdy, or as i call her, porky. (it's not their fault, they got her from rspca rescue centre and she was that fat then..) but here's the few pictures i did take.

carl eating a curry of left over beef.

we've been home since sunday now. we went up to carl's parents' house on christmas eve, but it didn't really feel like christmas yet cos i'd actually been to work. i was pretty unhappy about it and it all ended quite bad cos i thought i could go at four when i'd finished doing what there was to be done (i did ask) but when i came back to collect & give presents the boss was all grumpy saying i wasn't supposed to go. wtf. it's not my fault if you don't listen to what i say, and say ok. i'm sure he did. what a cock. so i'm kinda dreading going back cos apparently he's gonna "have a talk with me".

anyway, not thinking about that hell hole, as i'm not going back until NEXT YEAR. monday. ugh. yesterday i did fuck all, except go to the shop and make us lunch and dinner from the cook book emma got me. today i've been better, i've been to the shops to get dinner, done two loads of washing, sort of tidied the bedroom and later once carl's done the dishes i'm going to make some eggplant parmigiana, again from the cookbook. i think emma made me some when i visited her in september and it was nom.

i have great plans for this week, mainly involving cooking (because i have the time and energy for once!) i'm going to be testing a bunch of recipes and work on my cooking zine. i would like to finish it for brighton zine fest. also, i need to get organized, distrowise, get all the pending orders out. also, i want to write some way overdue letters, and maybe work on my website and next issue of YOUR PRETTY FACE, which in my head i'm calling the 'cliche zinester issue' because of the things i'm planning to write about in it. i also want to clear out the flat. there's a bunch of crap i want to get rid of, like the old television & couple of broken monitors and chairs we don't need and i'm secretly dreaming about having a desk in the currently messiest corner of the bedroom for zinestering & perhaps sewing . my mum said she was going to give me money towards a sewing machine as my big christmas present, i just need to find one i like and have my half of the moneys, but i'm really not in a hurry since i have absolutely nowhere to sew.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


the christmas crafty deaf cat on wednesday was lovely, but a lot quieter than last time. i expect because it was so goddamn cold, understandably not many people wanted to leave the comfort of their houses for last minute christmas shopping.. it was in three rooms this time, though i only managed to take pictures in the room i was in, where we all just ended up eating a lot of sweets and wearing zara's hats & headbands. cos they are too damn cute!

this time i actually managed to take an okay picture of my/our stall! i think it's quite cute.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


it's been snowing and thundering. i've never had that before, even in finland.

i don't believe in actual white christmas though. it would be nice. i don't think i've had one for years, even back home, i'm sure it hardly ever stuck around over actual christmas. damn south. carl thinks i won't have to go to work tomorrow because of the snow, but i know i will. it would be nice though. traffic's gonna be mental, not that i care, cos i don't drive.

i had a minor christmas presents related breakdown earlier. and then managed to buy quite a few bits online in the end. fingers crossed they actually arrive here before christmas.

in other news, i actually had quite a nice day at work, mainly because i spent most of it alone in the warehouse wrapping post and there wasn't insane amounts of it. i liked the peace and quiet, it was pretty fucking cold though, even with all my layers. i fear i'm never gonna be warm again until march or something. i hate this country.

i was going to make me and carl finnish christmas dinner on christmas eve but apparently we're going to his parents already that night, instead of christmas morning, to save faffing about. oh well. i guess i could carve some ham, boil some potatoes and make porkkanalaatikko (carrot & rice casserole) there too. not sure anyone else would eat it though.. well, porkkanalaatikko at least. i keep meaning to do that since i moved into this flat, but it never happens. one year, one year. but not this year. again.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


i am absolutely shattered, and a bit nervous. will i make it home in time for nevermind the buzzcocks with david tennant and catherine tate and donna's grandad? i guess there's always iplayer if nothing else. i'm gonna go get my shit together now and then knit as many bows as i can!

Monday, December 14, 2009


1. i got another parcel from mum. last week i got a big box of christmas presents and finnish sweets, and today i got a little one with something mum forgot to put in the big box; my nan's old aino slippers. my mum can't wear them cos she's got one leg shorter than the other so she needs special shoes. and i guess special slippers too. i'm absolutely in love with them, i'm wearing them right now! and they're a perfect fit. i guess big feet run in the family. (i'm an 8)

2. my parcel of zines finally reached ciara of paper trail distro & crabigail adams. i was starting to get worried, after two months. this is why i dislike sending surface mail but unfortunately the parcel would have been ridiculously expensive via airmail. 40 zines is not as light as you'd think. hopefully this means nicole of click clack distro will get her parcel soon too! i also enjoyed reading ciara's description of me and maranda's split zine, those had dropped in her mail box too.. (maranda's taking care of the us distros, it's about 100 times easier that way. and cheaper)

3. i went on a the ark related video rampage on youtube (half of which has ended up on my tumblr) and am swimming in nostalgia. i love that band. i'm not sure it's right that i think this is the perfect love song.

anyway, a re-run of last week's QI is on! we somehow managed to miss it on thursday..

Sunday, December 13, 2009



i'm working on my page, though unfortunately i've temporarily lost the ability to draw. 10 brownie points to whoever can guess who my FFRM is!

Saturday, December 12, 2009


i think this is my new favourite song. the things you find on youtube by accident while looking for the finnish children's song that perfectly describes how you're feeling today (in case you were wondering, it's this)


Living Dolls Part One, originally uploaded by Laurence,.

i’ve had a rather bad week. too much work. too much stress and emotional upheaval, this fucking cold and this fucking cough (i can’t even have a fucking fag to calm the fuck down) i’ve been a cranky miserable little bitch, but i’m going to be nicer now. i’ve got a fuckload of unread things on my google reader (maybe i should just unfollow some blogs..) and i’m so behind on distro & etsy orders. one day i will be organized, but i doubt it will be until after christmas. i’m sorry. i fail at everything. everyone who's been waiting for their orders forever will get an extra present as an apology.

i’m going to go shopping a little later, get my dad a present. we were going to post it all today but obvs that’s not going to happen. carl said i should go tomorrow but i don’t want to, sunday is my day and i don’t want to even think about leaving the house tomorrow. and we've been fighting too. i hate this week, i wish it was christmas already.

i wish there was a website you can check yesterday’s weather on so you can actually tell what today’s forecast means. fuck if i know what 8 celcius feels like. i want to wear the blue vintage dress i got from zara at the swap party, but i think it's probably way too cold for anything that pretty for at least a couple of months. which fucking sucks. i feel so disgusting and ugly lately that it's not funny. a face cracked from rough tissues doesn't help the matters at all.

Sunday, December 06, 2009


i went to zara's house last night with sara & danielle and we had a clothes swap party with x factor and other saturday night telly in the background. it was most excellent and i came home with a great haul. more stuff than i went there with.. oh well. at least it's new nicer crap. fuck clearing out, just swap crap for crap. i'll post more comprehensively about this tomorrow when i've managed to take pictures of the excellent things i brought home. though i can mention i am the proud owner of a pair of irregular choice clogs. irregular choice is my favourite brand of shoes, they are just mental. but mostly highly unpractical with high heels and i really can't do high heels. so i'm a happy lady.

i was going to take pictures of some of the stuff i got today while it was sunday afternoon and carl was at oxfam all day but i somehow didn't manage that, as usual. i didn't even manage to tidy up the bedroom, but i did do a big load of washing at least.

it's suddenly got 11pm again. that means i should get off the internet and wind down ready for bed. back to work tomorrow. do not want, but do i ever. i'd rather just stay home, cuddle my boy and tidy that bedroom once he's sorted his bits out, but a girl's got to make moneys to pay the fucking rent etc. sigh. at least i'm hating it somewhat slightly less than usual. not sure why, we're actually massively busy and you can't move in the shop for people with prams. i hate prams. and i hate people.


there was an exhibition of the local miniatures club's collection / work at the dickens house museum whatever it is. and they had the most amazing little piece of work i had ever seen. a lady called jeanne smart (at least i think it was jeanne..) had made a little secret garden based on the book. it had the book as the walls of the garden and it was just so gorgeous and detailed.. unfortunately photographs do not do justice. it was very dark and the glass dome it was in didn't make things any easier. but believe me it was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. that lady is my hero, i wanna be just like her! she'd made it all by hand, the tree was a grapes skeleton she'd glued tidy paper leaves she'd cut her self etc etc.

there were some other lovely miniatures, mainly dolls houses exhibited there.

it's a dolls house in a dolls house!


julie was here yesterday. we went to rochester to see the uncomfortable crowd that is called dickens weekend. i like the strange people dressed up all dickensian etc but i do not like the crowds. i took pictures and got all nerdy and probably annoyed julie a bit.. i took quite a few pictures.

this was actually on the way. there was a massive parade / army / something of people on scooters. including this festive piece of genius. that alone made my fucking day.

i went to dickens fest last year (i think...) with emma, and i christened the old gentleman with big grey beard dumbledore. he was rather excellent and charming!

julie is a ghost in the dickens house museum whatever it is.

the magic lantern!

can someone please tell me who /what he's supposed to be? my dickens knowledge is very limited.

we also did other things, such as julie acted as a second opinion on new winter lady boots, we watched simpsons & american dad, made tasty roasted butternut squash & blue cheese risotto & talked about stuff. you know. the usual. and then i had to run her to the train back to clapham.