I'VE GOT A TIN OF HAMA BEADS AND I'M GONNA USE THEM!

+ today's post:

"tukru, are you vampire sushi something?"

doris #15 - the anti depression guide
mend my dress #5 - girl love, girl revolution, stories of friendship
tuff town #1
mend my dress #1

from RIOT GRRRRRR DISTRO

in other news, carl has abandoned me for the night. he's gone to his brother's house to do boy things (drink & watch things in HD) so i'm home alone, with celebrity big brother in the background cos feck, what else can i do? not complaining though. besides, i'm abandoning him for social shit tomorrow, going to moogie wonderland with emma, and i think he should get out of the house more often anyway. so good. and i'm going to watch the hairspray remake in a bit and get really angry cos they've ruined it, probably. thought i might as well watch something carl will definitely not watch with me. and get crafty while i do it. there's another crafty deaf cat on WEDNESDAY and i have nothing but zines! i've got two doctors appointments tomorrow (well, the first one is a general health check up, with a nurse, but still) one at 11.40 and the other one at 1.20 (apparently it takes a while to get the info from nurse to doctor) but i don't mind, i'm gonna walk to rochester for a crafty hunt in the meantime. i've got plenty of crafty ideas, me!

SOME SHIT PHOTOS / MY UNEXCITING LIFE

i put some lipstick on on sunday. i like to wear it in geisha style.



carl hasn't shave for at least two weeks (he can't actually remember when he shaved last) since he's got this far on beard growing, i might as well make him do it properly.



i did some girly shopping yesterday on my way home from work (neon leg warmers & eye shadows, all 50p each) and carl brought me barbie size beauty products from oxfam.



i made blackberry & banana muffins earlier and i accidentally baked them for extra 10 minutes and they had a sick party all over each other (i wonder if that was the fact i didn't use any bicarbonate of soda, or just cos i filled the cases too full...)

today i had therapy (on the phone) for the first time in about two months. (december and most of november were just too fucking hectic to go to lunch at a certain time and spend it on the phone thinking about how well i'm coping with shit.) apparently i've got worse since last time. from moderate to borderline moderate / severe. wahey anxiety.

i have plans and projects i manage to do fuck all about. and i had one of the best ideas i've ever had, inspired by a friend's lj post about creepy dudes. now i just need to figure out how to actually make them.

RECIPE : MAKARONI LAATIKKO

makarooni laatikko, originally uploaded by tukrulovesyou.

it's been ages since i've posted a recipe. actually i don't think i have posted one since i swapped to blogger. shocking. i made makaroni laatikko (finnish pasta casserole) last night. i've only made it once before, and it was well nom. it's a bit of a finnish mama recipe. though funnily enough i prefered the version they served at my school to my own mother's, who after all was a professional cook (she's not dead, she's just retired.) though i have learned the significant difference between them is that my mother used milk while the dinnerladies used stock. also, neither used tin tomatoes & carrots, i just wanted to add a bit extra flavour. actually this is more or less my recipe! though i did check some random finnish cooking websites for the amount of pasta, egg & stock / milk.

MAKARONI LAATIKKO
serves 3-4

250g minced beef (or lamb)
1 (perferably red) onion, finely chopped
3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
2-3 carrots, grated
400g tin of tomatoes
dried herbs; parsley, basil & oregano
salt & pepper
150g pasta of your choice
200ml beef stock or milk
2 eggs

1. cook the pasta according to the packet, drain once cooked.
2. meanwhile brown the mince in a frying pan, in some oil if you want. once the mince is half way to fully browned, add onions & garlic and fry til softened
3. add carrots and tin tomatoes and simmer for 10-15 minutes 'til the sauce starts to thicken.
4. add a thin layer of the sauce in a lightly greased casserole dish. mix the rest of the sauce with the pasta and add in the dish.
5. beat the eggs in a cup, mix in the stock until even colour. pour the mixture over the pasta mixture in the dish. make sure it's all pretty even.
6. place in a oven preheated to 190C & cook for 30-45 minutes. check after half an hour to see if the egg mix has set. once it has and the dish is no longer watery, it is done.

serve with rocket or grated carrot salad. whatever you want!

i was going to make karelian pasties today, as i have everything you need for them already in the house, but i've got too much to do. maybe next sunday?

THEY DANCE AND THEY SING OF THE WORLD WE'RE NOT IN

new distro zines!, originally uploaded by tukrulovesyou.

this week has been a pretty good week postwise. i've had something come in at work or at home pretty much every day. except today & monday. including three parcels of distro zines. one of them MASSIVE. i had just almost got on top of the descriptions and.. now i've got another pile of them to do. oh well. that's really the only bit i'm not excited about, mainly cos i find it a bit difficult. i'm not that great at describing zines. though it seems with some its about easier than others.

i've been wanting to post a proper blog entry about distro stuff but i'm not actually quite sure what i want to say. i thought about recommending my favourites but pretty much everything in the distro are my favourites, so it would be kinda impossible and pointless. so yeah, there's lots of new zines at VAMPIRE SUSHI DISTRO. go on, buy some, so i can order more. eh. no really, i've got a few more zines i definitely want to distro, but i've decided to put myself under zine buying ban. well, actually buying anything at all ban really, my bank & paypal balances are really not happy at all.

oh and i'm gonna be tabling at a few events next month! you can see them on the news page of the distro, if you're in the medway / london / brighton area, you should come come come.

"our daughters will never be free" the indelicates.

MOTHER KNOWS BEST

morning, originally uploaded by Laurence 2.

today is very very strange day. i'm going to go read more zines (descriptions like woah! that's what i did last night too..) and perhaps make a phone call to a friend because i heard big big news and i want to talk about it! i want to knit things and write zines and do antyhing but this internets bullshit. i'll get back to it later this week.

GE MIG NÅT SOM TAR MIG NÅGONSTANS FÖR JAG VILL VETA OM KÄRLEK FINNS

incoming / outgoing mail, originally uploaded by tukrulovesyou.

above: my current reading pile. + distro zines that arrived today.. there's actually almost the same amount still in the post. oh dear. i'm never going to read all this!
below: outgoing pile. it's all definitely going out tomorrow. i was going to sneak some in the work post but apparently we're being watched by royal mail. ha. oh well. if i wanna do it, i'd have to be like, super duper sneaky. and i like having receipts (i really don't trust royal mail. if you did what i do for you dayjob, neither would you.. too much lost post.)

i've had a pretty bad / stupid / scared week, but at least it's over now (the weekend doesn't count as part of it!) i should spend less time on the internets and more time cuddling or something. oh and reading and writing. right?

"nu kan du få mig så lätt" - håkan hellström

THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY/WEEK/MONTH?

yes, i thought it deserved it's own entry instead of just editing the previous one and shoving it in the end. it's very rare you see nerds speak finnish on the telly. except maybe in finland...

OH Y AYE

carl was supposed to go to the post office with all the distro stuff today, but he woke up with the stomach flu. apparently it's going round. yaye. the sad thing is, i'm hoping i've got it too so i don't have to go to work tomorrow, because i really love it that much. fingers crossed i'm proper sick tomorrow morning, and not just gag-tastic.

sorry about the TMI. but basically this means the distro stuff isn't going to be posted again until saturday. this is getting fucking ridiculous. but i cannot help him being ill and forbidden to leave the house.

ZINES ZINES ZINES

DISPOSABLE CAMERA [WINTER 2008], originally uploaded by bosinney.

my brain is full of just zines zines zines. i've just spent £40 on wholesale zines from the learning to leave a paper trail closing 'sale'. about 75 zines, 15 different ones coming my way for vampire sushi. christ on a bike. and then those distro trades & orders coming my way i mentioned. plus some re-stocking in general. chrazy! it's funny how fast ciara's sold almost all of her stock. it's only been three days and she's only got a few things left. which reminds me, if any distro or even just normal person would like to buy copies YOUR PRETTY FACE #6, you should go to her, cos she's got a fairly large pile of them still (she only just got a packet of 20 couple of weeks ago, just before she closed shop for the holidays..) go go go go! otherwise i'm gonna have to buy them back and well, i don't particularly want to. but if i must.. scratch that, she's sold EVERYTHING now.

i've also finally updated the distro website. took sold out things off and added another new one. carl's gonna go in the post office tomorrow/tuesday. promise. i just need to staple some of my zines (the staplers at staples didn't work. but luckily i found mine 5 minutes after i got home) and they'll be good to go. oh and i updated WWW.TUKRULOVESYOU.COM too! it's actually back on. with all the band photos and my photos and old photos and some new drawings that i've already posted on here. so i guess i've had a productive weekend even though it doesn't feel like it. i'm gonna go staple and assemble some zines & watch shit telly with mr carl.

MUSIC IS MY GIRLFRIEND.

i like the fact that on my last.fm, six artists out of eight top artists in the last six months are more or less ladies. actually, it's the same thing with last 12 months. i honestly didn’t realise until just now! (not on overall though.. which kinda suxx.)

for some reason, this made me feel i must make a video post, of the musical kind.

"joku raja" by PMMP
#1 (last six months) & #2 (last 12 months) & #5 (overall)


"pull shapes" by the pipettes
#2 (last six months) & #8 (last 12 months) & #20 (overall)


"fly on the wall" by miley cyrus
#3 (last six months) & #11 (last 12 months) & #27 (overall)


"bad romance" by lady gaga
#4 (last six months) & #15 (last 12 months) & #33 (overall)


"electric chair twist" by the micragirls
#5 (last six months) & #16 (last six months) & #34 (overall)
i should also mention this is my overall most played song with 35 plays, micra girls only have 44 in total (i only have four tracks, for now. once the new album comes out....!)


harry potter audio books read by stephen fry.
#6 (last six months) & #6 (last 12 months) & #14 (overall)
this would probably be a lot higher if the ipod wasn't configured just to carl's last.fm, cos i usually listen to them on the ipod, in the kitchen, while out, or in bed.


"girls don't always wanna have fun" by melody club
#7 (last six months) & #19 (last 12 months) & #37 (overall)


"weekend without makeup" by the long blondes
#8 (last six months) & #3 (last 12 months) & #8 (overall)


"sexy no no no" by girls aloud
#12 (last six months) & #1 (last 12 months) & #2 (overall)


"the international tweexcore underground" by los campesinos!
#14 (last six months) & #4 (last 12 months) & #5 (overall)


"blah blah" by lady sovereign
#10 (last six months) & #5 (last 12 months) & #14 (overall)


"oasis" by amanda palmer
#44 (last six months) & #7 (last 12 months) & #21 (overall)

special mentions to two old favourites from overall chart..


"father of a son" by the ark
#1 overall chart, #20 (last 12 months) & #21 (last six months)


"pump up the volume" by art brut
#4 overall chart, #13 (last 12 months) & #35 (last six months)

oh and...


"a little less sixteen candles, a little more "touch me"" by fall out boy
#3 overall chart, #247 (last 12 months) & not charted (last six months)

now i really want to make a mixtape of things i listen to a lot. and not just things i think you should hear or that would go well together or whatever. who wants it? i might make it tomorrow while carl's out! and yes, it will have fall out boy on it. i kinda miss "under the cork tree" now. might ask carl to pass it to me from the shelf so i can rip it..

OH MATRON.

it started snowing proper at half 11 so mr man closed the shop and everyone went home. i guess he didn't want to get stuck in snow again. of course it had stopped by the time me and ellie left the shopping centre (we did spend maybe 20 minutes looking at cardigans in dorothy perkins first) i had a bad case of word vomit, there's no one else around in the real world i can really talk to. so yeah. and i bought a dress. i tried to get carl to get a picture but only two of them were actually in focus and in the other one,, i didn't like my face. or posture. or much else.

weird 80s style dress - £5 primark bargain.

carl says the dress makes me look like hattie jacques. he thought i would smack him, but i think she's AWESOME. no nonsense, i'm the matron. not sure i'll ever actually wear it though. might actually go and return it after all.

it's weird being home this early. it's confusing carl. ha. i think i might go to staples later to staple some zines, get all the pending distro stuff sent out tomorrow morning. think i need some a5 envelopes too. i know i have some but i can't find them. as per usual.

A FEW THINGS;

0201, originally uploaded by emiliebjork.

♥ work's been mental but alright. i'm still surprised by that. i think the short days due to snow are helping.

♥ my stapler has gone missing. which is no good! i've been somewhat looking for another one, thinking "it might be a good idea to have two, just in case" but everything's either too much or a bit too shit. i'm rather contemplating getting this one..

♥ i'm excepting several largeish packages of zines in the post! two distro trades and one order. i may have gone a little wrong there. also, i heard really sad news today. one of my favourite distros (if not my actual favourite) learning to leave a paper trail is closing. it's a sad sad day. ciara's still gonna keep the distro open, until everything's sold out which probably will take a while cos she's got a fuckload of zines, including another forty odd copies of mine that she only just received couple of weeks ago. i'll most probably be buying a bunch of zines in bulk for vampire sushi, because most the zines are fucking awesome. there are very few zines i've got from there that i haven't liked much. and i must confess, i've probably got about half the catalog if not more. but i'm gonna wait til the latest distro trade from her arrives. hopefully next week. so yeah, that news really sucks. but nothing lasts forever.

♥ for the last few days i've been mostly listening to lady gaga (i'm starting to think i'll never be sick of 'bad romance' or 'paparazzi'. rah rah ah-ah-ah ro mah ro-mah-mah gaga ooh-la-la) and lady sovereign. alongside with a little bit of ladyhawke and falling asleep to harry potter and the deathly hallows again.

♥ the snow is making me giddy and silly. even when i almost fall over skipping down the high street.

♥ i think this weekend i'm going to make cheese pie, as seen on hairy bikers; mums know best. it's basically mash, cheese, mash, cheese, mash, cheese baked in the oven. it looked fucking epic.

SOFT AS SNOW (BUT WARM INSIDE?)

it snowed a little last night and carl did the same "oh you're not going to work tomorrow" thing as last time. he was very wrong, it was pathetic in the morning. though i did almost fall over when running down slickets hill cos i was running even later than usual cos i thought it was a bit worse outside and it wouldn't matter anyway.. damn fogged up windows! when i went to lunch it was even more pathetic snowwise. it hardly looked like it had ever snowed. but around four it started snowing proper massive snow flakes and my boss closed the shop at half four! i went to the nice little printers to copy some more YOUR PRETTY FACE #2's and missing pages and took some pictures on my way home. all the shops were closing as i walked through the pentagon, but luckily tesco was still open (though i think they were kinda closing too, or at least letting people who lived further away go home early..) so i could get dinner and essentials (toilet roll, bin bags & milk) we'll see how it'll be tomorrow morning. i haven't actually looked outside since i got home. i checked i had the manager who's in tomorrow's mobile number right so i can check how it's going before i leave the house, cos i don't particularly want to sit outside the shop doing naff all for an hour and a half again. unfortunately i can't bunk off with a snow excuse cos i live literally a five minutes walk away. though there is a steep very slippery hill..

being back work has been a bit mental this week. sledges. bloody sledges. monday we sent out almost 400 sledges, and couldn't even fit all of the royal mail ones in the poor postlady's van. and tuesday, when i was in charge, we had way too many orders and i ran out of sledges. i'd taken them off monday afternoon but obviously that was a bit too late. ha! so i had to email about fifty people "sorry, got no sledges, getting some more next week, you mind waiting or do you want a refund." and spent all of today refunding people and chasing people's sledges cos everything we sent on monday had been delayed cos of the weather and some of it was still stuck wherever. fun times. which was actually surprisingly not too bad. though there was one very very cranky lady who just would not listen and would just say the same thing over and over again. i had to get my boss to argue with her cos i don't do it very well. he's off tomorrow so yaye.

there are very few things i love as much as the sound of fresh snow crunching under my boots.

in other news: carl's swearing at resident evil 5. he's been battling the final boss for hours.

in other news part two: my hot water bottle rules & in other news part three: i've been mainly listening to lady gaga (i especially like this version of poker face) and i've now moved on to lady sovereign (still finding it absolutely hilarious she's on celebrity big brother. i do love her though) carl mocks me for the gaga but he's got his fucking drum n bass and too much hip hop not all of which is that great so i think we're even.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS / TO DO LIST + WISH LIST

I missed the party, originally uploaded by Laurence 2.

yesterday i wrote down some new years 'resolutions' in my finnish blog, somehow finnish has just felt more natural this year, so far. ha. we'll see how long that lasts though, i'm always starting similar projects and it never lasts.. but i'm hopeful. i need more practice so i don't turn double foreign. anyway, i thought i'd write them down in english too, so everyone can mock me when i miserably fail at everything. i don't really do resolutions. but i'll consider this more of a to do list. (i do realise it's basically the same thing, but a few of these have been on my to do list anyway..)

♥ write more in finnish
♥ write more in general
♥ spend less time on the internet doing fuck all
♥ eat less frozen crap and more PROPER food.
♥ stop ignoring stuff and pushing it til later. or at least do it less.
♥ worry less.
♥ be more crafty, knit and stuff.
♥ work on my teenage blah blah novel & my smiths fan vampire story.
♥ make a fucking brilliant queer/typical zinester stuff issue of YOUR PRETTY FACE without rushing it. if it's not ready in time for a zinefest, it's not.
♥ same thing with rocknroll adventures of past times issue.
♥ finish issue one of THE QUEEN IS FED, my cooking zine. preferably in time for brighton zine fest (end of february)
♥ dress better (when i look good, i feel better. like today. i may be a bit chilly, but i feel better about myself. it's funny that.)
♥ see people more often. go to coffees or just to hang out at lovely people's houses.
♥ make more art. take PROPER photographs.
♥ get winifred's hair sorted out! (i actually only just added this one..)
♥ be more / proper organized with distro etc business stuff.
♥ find another job. preferably not in retail. i don't want to hate christmas anymore.
♥ have better mental health
♥ be a better girlfriend and be more comfortable with my own sexuality.

i'm not going to write stop smoking because it's pointless. more accurate list item would be "stop needing to smoke". which is way more easily said than done.

also, here's things i would like to do, if possible:

♥ start sewing clothes for me & dolls, once i get that elusive sewing machine.
♥ go abroad. preferably not just back home to finland. maybe berlin? but this completely depends on money money money!
♥ FIND A RECORD PLAYER. our record collection is getting ridiculous considering we can't actually listen to them.
♥ a dead ladies comeback for my birthday. in celebration of surviving 'the rocknroll stupid year'.
♥ do a zine workshop of some sort. i wouldn't know where the fuck to start sorting it out though.

WHAT I WORE TODAY.

WHAT I WORE TODAY - 2nd january 2010

♥ striped top made by carl, part of his final collection at fashion school
♥ turquoise skirt, from primark
♥ turquoise tights, christmas present from ellie
♥ black ankle boots, from new look
♥ heart necklace, christmas present from mum.
♥ red bow belt, from new look
♥ (unseen) hand embroidered 'fuck this, i'm going to hogwarts' pants, by me.

today was the first day in over a week i've dressed properly. not that i went anywhere other than sainsbury's & tesco to buy ingredients for tasty apple & walnut risotto. carl took the photo for me and the picture's a little extra blurry cos i'd forgotten i'd turned off auto focus, like a div.