Thursday, February 11, 2010


i feel a little crappy tonight. i think it's cos i'm sort of freaking out about this weekend 's zine fun and how unprepared i am for it, as usual. and how incredibly unprepared i am for valentine's day AND carl's birthday (carl was born feb 15th, the basterd) i feel so useless and meh. must move from my stupid seat. get cards & flyers ready if nothing else.

i really want to be excited, and not scared. fuck being scared. i want to be excited and make a riot grrrl revival happen and do stuff and make things happen and.. fuck. i'm making absolutely no sense. i want to have grrrl friends near by. we went to abbi & alex's house for dinner last friday and there was guitar playing (by everyone else) and staring at the piano trying to remember how to play something more than ukko nooa and the main riff from just can't get enough by depeche mode and thus feeling musically challenged (just me) and i said to abbi "we should start a riot grrrl band." i was serious. i don't think she took me seriously. i went home with another book from their bookself ("american gods" by neil gaiman. i always borrow a book from them after dinner. it's standard.

i'm extra weirded out by my grump cos i actually had quite a nice day at work. though i seem to be extra paranoid of people not liking me. stupid girl. stupid brain.

i really hope there's something awesome and suitable for valentine's day or birthday present for carl at alternative press fair on saturday. it's very unlikely i can take shopping on oxford street (or anywhere) on sunday on my way home, while carrying bags of zines. and well, i've run out of time. i've got tomorrow lunch break. and THAT'S IT. i hate presents. why are boys so difficult to get presents for? i wish i had a girlfriend and i could just empty claire's or heidi seeker. boo, boo, superboo!

i finally bought a coach ticket for next week's trip to brighton yesterday. going friday early afternoon and leaving saturday night.

this blog entry makes zero sense. it's just word vomit. i've been listening to lady gaga almost non stop since last night. i finally fouled carl's ipod with the fame and the fame monster. i'm sure carl will want to strangle me the first time she pops up on shuffle songs. he's a lame hater.


Jessica said...

I too wish I had grrl friends near by, its beyond poo not having anyone near me. We should be pen friends!!

I hope you got the pennies from me, and the postman didnt steal them.


Enid said...

I wish I had a huge grrrl gang and that we were in an awesome band together. Well, me and Lydia were thinking of doing you should jon our riot grrrl band!

p.s. it was great to meet you at the weekend, I think I should be coming to Brighton zinefest, so hopefully I'll see you then :)